Don't Put a Price Tag on Friendship
Sometimes a third party sours a deal. Jell-O becomes Jell-OX, and who
wants that--whatever that would be?
The girl who was forced to take her kid sister along on a date; the boy
who was compelled to drag his little brother along when his pals went swimming;
the man or woman who had to share a dream vacation with a mother-in-law-all
these will say, "I could have made a sweeter deal without the third
party along."
The church's first great missionary team split up because Paul wanted to
exclude John Mark but Barnabas wanted to include him (Acts 15:36-41).
We are tempted to jettison inconvenient friendships. But "A friend
loves at all times" (Proverbs 17:17). Christians cannot make their
own pleasure and advantage the price tag of a friendship. "Be devoted
to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves"
(Romans 12:10). Don't forsake a friend, even for a sweeter deal.
Companions, not Competitors
Everybody, it seems, needs to feel superior to somebody. If they can't
compete in one area they will try to excel in another. And the area of their
competence will be the most important--in their own judgment.
The need to best another is felt early in life, even if it requires a proxy.
Little fellows boast, "My daddy can whip your daddy"? I like the chap who said,
"Big deal! My mama can beat my daddy."
Something bigger, something better, something costlier--we require this to prove
ourselves to ourselves and to others. That's silly and childish.
How different was Jesus. He said, "I am among you as one who serves" (Luke
22:27). How different was Paul. He termed himself "less than the least of all
God's people" (Ephesians 3:8).
A wise person will not be puffed up by compliments or puffed down by criticisms.
Instead of bragging on ourselves, let's encourage others to be at their best.
The Lord doesn't require us to be record holders. We are companions, not
competitors, in the Christian life.
With the Bad for Good Reasons
You can treat every person right, but you can't be comfortable in all company.
You will count the silverware if you know your guest is a thief. You will guard
your lips in the presence of a known gossip. You will avoid asking a
hypochondriac, "How are you feeling?" You just feel "fishy" when you're with
people you dislike or distrust.
Life would be easier if we could always choose our crowds. We would spend all
our social hours with those we like, enjoy, and approve. But we must often be
with those we dislike and cannot enjoy. Then what?
Be consistently Christian. Don't avoid conflict at the price of moral
compromise. No one's approval is worth the loss of your integrity and your soul.
Regard bad or unpleasant company as an opportunity to witness for Jesus. "I have
become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some,"
wrote Paul (1 Corinthians 9:22). Let's adopt that attitude and share that
motive.
Humor, a Dangerous Asset
The Bible exhorts us to live "self-controlled, upright and godly
lives in this present age (Titus 2:12). Among the things we must control
is any propensity to foolishness. "Foolish talk" and "coarse
joking" are "out of place" in Christian life (Ephesians 5:4).
This does not mean that we must be grave in looks and serious in words all
the time. Joking per se is not condemned; foolish and coarse humor is proscribed.
Foolish jesting is jesting that serves no valid, no serious purpose. Humor,
especially self-deprecating humor, can be useful. It can cheer the morose,
defuse tense situations, and get points across gently when other strategies
cannot.
People without humor are hard to be with. Equally difficult are those for
whom everything is a joke or calls for one. Poking fun at the sadness and
sickness of others is cruel. The rule for all speech is "the truth
in love." Keep a watch on your mouth today.
You Can Help Others
We sometimes feel that we can help only those who know less than we do.
This is untrue. By being our best as Christians we can contribute something
of value to anyone who is willing to receive it.
A person who refuses counsel from the less educated isn't wise; he is a
snob. I've never met a person from whom I could not learn something of value.
From humble, earnest followers of Christ I learned as many discipleship
lessons as I did from erudite scholars. And I believe that I have been of
help to some whose learning is vastly superior to mine.
Priscilla and Aquila were, in many ways, inferior to the brilliant, eloquent
Apollos, but they "explained to him the way of God more adequately,"
and thus enhanced his effectiveness for Christ (Acts 19:24-28).
You can help others. A teacher learns from pupils. A pastor learns from
parishioners. Share what you know about serving Christ.
Self-contained Is Self-destructive
We speak of aimless and unfulfilled life as "going around in circles." That
wouldn't hold true for a race car driver, of course. Circling the track is his
way of life, his bid for fame and fortune.
O counters the quip of X by claiming to be an end in himself. His life has
purpose and progress for he is its goal. When life is no bigger or better than
oneself, it is ultimately useless and baneful.
The self-contained are failures. They may be rich failures, "successful"
failures, and failures envied by thoughtless neighbors -- but failures they are.
God created us to live for His glory and for one another's good.
Jesus describes such a failure in Luke 12:13-21. He was a farmer who had bumper
crops and overflowing barns. He could retire early to "eat, drink and be merry."
He regarded others as tools and disregarded God entirely. Death swept him to
judgment and God labeled him "Fool."
Self-centered life in a God-made world cannot finally succeed nor satisfy. We
should live as did Jesus, who "went about doing good" (Acts 10:38).
Differences, Not Divisions
An X is not an O but both are letters. Each is used for a variety of purposes,
but both are used mostly in word-formation to communicate feelings and ideas.
What they have in common is just as important as how they differ. And sometimes
they are equally needed and valued. You couldn't spell oxygen with either of
them missing. If you think that doesn't matter, try living for a spell without
oxygen! Nothing justifies arrogance and snobbery. Nothing excuses failure to
cooperate for the common good.
The church is "the body of Christ" and "The body is not made up of one part but
of many" (1 Corinthians 12:14). The function of each part enhances the health
and strength of the whole body. That means none is unimportant and none is
independent. True Christians are not rivals. They love, work, and believe
together to help complete their mission. Like Xs and Os, we need each other, and
magnifying our differences is foolish. Our differences should not become
divisions.
Stand Tall, Christian!
The Marines encourage a man to stand erect and earn respect. They have a proud
tradition that each recruit is challenged to honor in his own character and
behavior.
No one should stand straighter than a Christian. He or she belongs to the only
institution on earth that prepares for heaven.
The honor of Christ and the church is upheld or betrayed in the daily lives of
Christians. For this reason Scripture exhorts, "live a life of love, just as
Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice
to God" (Ephesians 5:2). Unholy lives dishonor the holy God. Unloving lives
dishonor the loving Christ. Selfish living brings reproach upon the Cross and
the Empty Tomb.
Christ does not coerce us. We must volunteer to obey, trust and love Him. Give
yourself completely to Him and He will make you a better person. Stand tall!
Christ Makes Us Whole
People are coming apart everywhere. "Road rage" compels drivers to kill others
on our highways. Angry teens spray classrooms with bullets, killing and wounding
in mindless passion. Mothers kill their children to escape the frustration of
raising them in undisciplined environments. "Exes" kill former mates to avenge
rejection. Whole communities are awash in fear, anger, and grief. Obviously, our
coping skills are deficient.
The world says, "Pull your self together," and offers books, seminars, and talk
shows to tell you how. And whatever helps should be welcomed, however
insufficient and temporary the relief.
The real answer is Jesus. He invites, "Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest (John 11:28). He is adequate for our
physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. "Cast all you anxiety on him," Peter
urged, "because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). He will lighten the load or He
will strengthen our backs. He can make us whole.
Break Jail!
Spell it jail or spell it gaol, it's still confinement. Our prisons overflow
with society's losers. Others are caged within invisible bars, and their
confinement is terribly real. They go to their jobs and come to their homes
imprisoned by fear, guilt, ennui, sorrow--you name it! Their frustration
exacts a severe toll upon their minds and bodies.
Jesus came "to proclaim freedom for the prisoners" and "to
release the oppressed" (Luke 4:18). He creates inner freedom that outer
bars cannot diminish or destroy. Paul and Silas could pray and praise God
in jail at midnight because they were inwardly free. When God shook the
prison open, they were free to stay and serve others rather than flee to
save themselves (Acts 16:23-34).
Prison doors are hinged on sin; freedom's gates swing from the cross of
Christ. Jesus said, "if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed"
(John 8:36).
Freedom from sin is freedom for God. This is our ultimate freedom, the only
one that will finally matter. Is Christ your liberator today?
